August 31, 2012

Dani's Ultimate Post-Apocalyptic Shopping Guide

Hey there survivors! So, I know you've been scrounging around in gross places looking for the things you need, but I'm here to help you find everything in slightly...cleaner...less rotten corpse-filled...safer places. I know, I're thinking, "What places aren't corpse-filled these days?" I'm totally right, huh? I knew it! Anyway, check out my recs for finding the following won't be disappointed!

Shoes and Clothing
Note to survivors: Keep in mind that you won't really be needing 5" stiletto boots and Armani dress shoes, guys and gals. Think practical. And comfortable. And durable. And absolutely NO crocks. That's just gross.


  • Outdoor recreation/sporting goods stores - Seriously. Everything you need in one spot, and nobody thought about it while they were vomiting to death.
  • Department stores - Avoid actually going into the interior, enclosed parts of me. Just stick to the satellite department stores. It's WAY too easy to get trapped by Crazies without an exit in site.
  • Big value stores (i.e., Kmart, Walmart, Target) - Totally picked over. I kid you not, this is where EVERYONE went when they were running out of, well, everything.
  • Club stores (i.e., Costco) - Ditto. Besides, the selection is limited, unless you need a million fleece vests and pairs of fake UGGs.

Note to survivors: The same rules of food sanitation that applied before the virus wiped out most folks apply now. Chicken that hasn't been refrigerated for 5 days is going to kill you just as dead as it would have before the virus. Plus, now there aren't any hospitals to pump your stomach and fill you with anti-whatevers. Eat smart or die dumb!

  • Hotels - I cannot recommend this enough. They have huge stores of packaged food for the mini bars. 
  • Small town grocery stores - Pretty much everyone died before they could ransack the places. Go for it!
  • Military bases - Tons of food that lasts forever, but WATCH OUT for soldiers-gone-crazy. Seriously. If you don't believe me, ask Zoe. 
  • Club stores (i.e., Costco) - Think about's pretty much a warehouse where regular people can buy things. CAUTION: You may be required to climb pretty high up on the shelves to get what you need. Also, if you have a gas mask, wear smells nasty in there. All that meat and frozen food...
  • Hiking and Outdoor equipment stores - Freeze dried food...YAY! Way healthy and doesn't rot or require refrigeration! 
  • Big town grocery stores - Picked over. Too many people. BIG waste of time!
  • Value stores (i.e., Wallmart, Kmart, etc.) - See above under Shoes and Clothes.

Medicine & First Aide
Note to survivors: Pretty much anywhere that fills prescriptions but isn't an actual pharmacy has a fairly good supply of drugs and bandages. 

  • Club stores (i.e., Costco) - Way awesome find. Plus, you won't have to go searching for anymore for, well, ever. 
  • Huge houses - More often than not, they've got fully stocked medicine cabinets. And cupboards. And drawers. And...
  • Hospitals and Doctor's offices - Totally disgusting. Don't even think about it.
  • Pharmacies - Everyone and their brother and their uncle and their second cousin and their...

Fun Stuff
Note to survivors: It can get boring out there without all the TV, internet, and video games you're used to. Unless you've got the greatest solar and wind array ever, or a gazillion generators and gallons upon gallons of fuel, you're going to need to figure out some more energy efficient ways to have fun. Think about what people did 100 years ago to have fun? No? Nothing? Okay...go read Zoe's recs for Keeping Busy (Outdoors).

  • Bookstores - You can get the latest (and unfortunately last) Sookie Stackhouse book AND a helpful guide to foraging edible plants. How cool is that!?
  • Amazon warehouse - Seriously, if you're lucky enough to be near one and you pass it up, your and idiot. Or a Crazy. Just saying...
  • Other people's houses - Sometimes snooping is fun and fulfilling all by itself! You never know what you might find! Downside: You never know what you might find.
  • Electronics stores - Really? What are you going to use it for? How are you going to power it? Right? Right.
  • Value stores - Didn't I already cover this like twelve times?


August 20, 2012

Keeping Busy (Indoors) - After the Ending

How to keep yourself busy after the apocalypse...urban style.

1.  Throw stuff off the roof
2.  Go cow tipping
3.  Make a fort out of blankets and couch cushions
4.  Play dress-up and talk with a British accent
5.  Draw on the walls with Crayons like you always wanted to
6.  Build a bunker under your house
7.  Read all the books you kept putting off
8.  Paint with food coloring
9.  Spit polish the hardwood floor
10.Sing Celine Dion in the shower (don't deny it)
11.Convert your attic to a prison cell
12.Hunt for dust bunnies
13.Inventory your house's nooks and crannies in case you're ever in a pinch
14.Raid your neighbor's house
15.Climb the walls
16.Lock yourself in the closet
17.Come out of the closet
18.Practice yodeling in the bathroom

August 14, 2012

UPDATE: Revised First Chapters AND a Brand New Chapter

We're nearing the end of our first full (for the most part) manuscript revisions and have posted chapters 1-6 for your end-of-the-world reading enjoyment. The first half of the book experienced (was subjected to, tortured by, and eventually succumbed to our every whim...aka beat the bejeesus out of our brains) a ginormous overhaul and is really quite shiny and new.

We love it, Dani and Zoe are extremely happy (aside from the part where pretty much everyone they know dies...that stays the same and, let's be honest, makes them sad), and we hope you like the changes too. 

Oh, and Chapter 1 is BRAND SPANKING NEW...*Squeal*